Have the feeling of emptiness just stored inside of you, waiting for one day to be filled with someone or thing to occupy you, have you ever felt like no one cares what you do or want to do and then you think to yourself why even bother, have you ever felt so depressed you are just done with life and done just trying to become a better person, have you ever wanted to be with someone so bad and then they just don't get it and they end up pushing you away, stepping all over your feelings, have you ever been so confused that you think to yourself why do I even care, have you ever been so lonely that you feel like no one even cares that you are lonely. have you ever loved someone so much then when you have the courage to tell them, they don't like you unless you are perfect. have you ever loved someone so much that you wish so many times for them to be right there with you and to just hold you and be with you forever...have you ever wondered why are you even there...have you ever tried to overcome things like social anxiety and then when you have the chance to...you just can't and you miss your chance that could possibly change your life. Have you ever just laid in bed and look to your side just hoping the person you love...is right there...and then start to cry because they aren't....have you ever felt like no one cares about what you say until they need something from you...and then they hate you for talking to them when you are just trying to be nice...have you ever have people come up to you and ask why are so lonely? you seem lonely and then you sit there in silence, hoping they leave you alone so you can cry. Have you ever just sat down and saw couples walk down school hallways holding hands, or people talking to their friends..while you sit there all alone and when you try to talk to someone you just...can't...I literally have with all of those things...I know that I shouldn't worry about this and that it will be better when the time goes but it's just I hate my social anxiety, I hate it not being able to talk to people, I hate it when the person I love....just pushes me away and not even realize it, I hate it when I want the person I love to be right here with me so I wish and pray and then it never happens...I have being lonely and have this emptiness inside of me....I just can't anymore...I want to be happy, I want the guy I love to be with me and to just love me...It's not gonna happen though...I know it won't...I try my best to occupy myself to not feel so alone but I just can't go on anymore...I think my strength to go on is failing...not suicide don't be to worry about that...
Listening to: my whimpers and cries
Watching: My tears fall